April 2014
Welcome --
"You will discover that you have two hands.
One is for helping yourself
and the other is for helping others."
(Audrey Hepburn)
Let's refine the concept of a "helping hand".
We've all been taught it's the 'right' thing to do -- lend a hand, help out. It's a kindness, isn't it? -- except when it isn't. That's the example I'd like to explore.
How many times have we insinuated ourselves
into a situation to 'make things easier' for someone, give them a shortcut, show them the best way to do something?
Countless times -- for all of us -- and how many times have others rushed in to 'help' us? Whether well intentioned or not, there can be a feeling of resentment, upset or even anger.
Why?
The best way to explain this is to remember the intricate and delicate process of a butterfly emerging from its cocoon -- a folded, wet winged struggle -- the very act plays on our instincts to intervene.
However, if we short circuit the process, the butterfly won't be able to fly. It's that very struggle we want to prevent for others that allows them to grow and even soar.
Next time you find yourself oh so ready to help, dare to:
Stop
Breathe
Ask Your Self: "Do I really need to 'help'?"
Then -- stand down and hold the space
for possibilities.
And if you want to take it a step further, whose pain, struggle, and upset are we in such a hurry to quell?
Another's? or the memory of our own?
Remember the grace of the butterfly before you rush in to help.
"People seldom refuse help, if one offers it
in the right way."
(A.C. Benson)
