April 2013
Welcome --
"...why don't you love me?
Oh -- you do? I'll see you later ...."
(Stephen Sondheim / "Follies")
Let's talk about what I call "
emotional ambushes".
I've a dear friend who grew up in a house of opposites. There would be long stretches of time where whatever he did was found lacking. Then he'd literally round the corner and in an instant, be swept up in his father's embrace and tidal wave of emotion: "I love you so much; I'm so very proud of you; I can't imagine life without you ...."
Sound familiar?
Beware of the "gush of caring" -- from anyone -- especially if it's coming on the heels of distancing behavior. It's a great example of words and actions not being in sync -- one of the best road signs to heed in relationships.
Let's bring it into nature. A lovely rain shower will help your garden grow. Drought, or a torrential storm will only damage what's trying to emerge. It's no different with us, is it? Life doesn't flow in extremes.
The Practice:
Stop / Breathe
Witness the pattern
Become adept at recognizing it
Respond, rather than react, accordingly
Put another way, when you find yourself in a sudden downpour, make sure your umbrella is at hand.