April, 2012
Welcome --
While having breakfast the other day with a dear friend, I found myself grousing about someone we both know. At almost the same moment, we looked at each other and nodded in recognition that the "issue" at hand was much more about me than our friend. Coupled with that are this year's retellings of "Snow White", so it's an appropriate time to revisit the phrase:
"Mirror, mirror ...."
Remember how the Evil Queen would receive an answer she didn't like? -- an answer that was accurate, yet infuriating for her? We're much the same way, when confronted with an example of our "lesser selves".
Anytime we're emotionally charged by a person, situation, or behavior, it's not really about them. It's about us. Invariably, what we're being presented with is an aspect of ourselves that we aren't aware of, don't like, or have disowned.
Using a textured situation as a mirror doesn't negate the impact of it, nor does it excuse or condone it. It does, however, allow us the chance to do a bit of healing. The very fact that we're part of the exchange affects the situation. We all bring several layers to any given moment.
So when you find yourself being less than charitable, look to yourself and access the power of "Mirror, mirror":
- If you're impatient with the time it's taking for a checkout line to move -- are you also impatient with yourself for procrastinating and not completing something that's been lingering too long?
- If you're angry with your boss -- are you also angry at yourself for not following your gut hunch and acting on what you knew was the right choice in a recent situation?
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If you're terribly uncomfortable with someone's sobbing -- is it touching on a piece of sorrow you've yet to address? and so on .......
How might you respond differently? Allow yourself to gently change by implementing these five simple steps:- Pause -- do nothing -- if only for a moment.
- Breathe -- a simple breath resets everything.
- Recognize -- "How am I like this?"
- Reflect -- on what you're being shown.
- Respond -- based on that reflection
Go slowly and be kind with yourself. We all get carried away from time to time despite our best intentions . I guarantee that you'll have another chance to practice.
Remember -- though it may just be a story, the mirror doesn't lie.....
What's coming up for me?
After the success of my recent workshop, "It's Elementary", I'll be offering it again soon -- along with a new one called "Elemental Anatomy". Both cover how the natural elements of AIR, FIRE, WATER and EARTH are manifested in our daily lives. Dates and times TBD. I'd love to have you join us ......
"Stephanie is an excellent teacher and facilitator. It was a fun day understanding how the elements appear and influence our thoughts, emotions and actions." (Poet and Memoirist)
"Time very well spent. I would certainly recommend it to anyone who plans on interacting with fellow humans (ie everybody)." (VP, Financial Adviser)
I'm also having early conversations with colleagues about a joint venture, and am exploring a possible ongoing "study group". More to come.
Parting Reminder:
And from The Bard -- something that one of my very favorite clients taught me years ago. It's especially true in these times of room for everything and everyone except ourselves:
"Self-love, my liege, is not so vile a sin as self-neglecting."
.... another reason to look to yourself.
Until next time --
Stephanie Swafford, the Bodymind Linguist©, works with people already well into their healing and recovery who need a quick course correction in their lives and are ready to accelerate that change. She can teach you how to listen with your Bodymind, trust your innate abilities, and remember what you already know. Her private practice, Body Alchemy, ( http://bodyalchemy.info) is in New York City.
Copyright (c) 2012 by Stephanie Swafford
